in that lair of the Deep Ones
how to pick up CHICKS!!

eggeworth:

  • cup your hands around them protectively
  • lift them from the ground
  • gently kiss their fuzzy heads
  • say “peep peep” calmingly so as not to be pecked
  • peep peep

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

glumshoe:

This was my chemistry professor.

glumshoe:

This was my chemistry professor.

jaqueshoemaker:

testchamberphi:

clorinspats:

so i was scrollin along on the internet, minding my own business when

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okay wtf they can’t be serious

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they’re serious

thegreatzaven

Where have you been all my life?

The best store ever.

sergeantjerkbarnes:

can we please discuss what the fuck is wrong with pennsylvania

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and finally

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turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

The prince of darkness is a gentleman.
Shakespeare, King Lear (via ancient-serpent)

-atlas:

this is one of the smallest parrots in the world aND I REACHED OUT TO GIVE HIM A SUNFLOWER SEED BUT HE WANTED A HEAD SCRATCH INSTEAD. MY HEART MELTED. JUST LOOK AT HIM

donrickles:

The best joke there ever was.

guineapiggies:

(Fat? Who’s fat!? by chertan-koraki)

the-jackals:

gravedust:

I hope people have seen this. I dont even know its origin or anything or hell what to really tag it as but I saw it on facebook via a cosplayer page. Its definitely worth the watch

What the ungodly fuck